A Vacation Nanny. Really?

Why yes, children, with Photoshop and a little magic, anything can happen.

During a recent trip in Miami, Florida with my husband, I took advantage of a little baby-free time on my own and did a walkabout of the hotel, stopping finally at the pool bar to order something uncharacteristically strong for my drink of choice these days (which is usually orange juice spiked with baby backwash). Afraid to start visibly wobbling after a few sips, I decided to strike up a conversation with a woman at the bar who was reading a book I liked quite a bit. As she ordered her drink, we caught eyes, detected kindred-spirited-ness and began chatting about books, kids, and vacations.

Halfway into the conversation, she clucked her tongue and said that she wished to hell that Newport Beachside had a vacation nanny to take advantage of and that she was just dying without one.

A vacation nanny? Seriously?

So not-in-the-loop me was like, “well, I saw on the hotel information thing that they have a babysitting service but I didn’t see any details about price or qualifications or anything.”

She blinked blankly a few times and just kind of looked at me like I was already starting to waste her time.

“Oh, these days we hardly stay anywhere that does often vacation nanny service. I mean, we’re really only here because the kids love it so much. If I had it my way, John and I would just…you know, ramble around all day and do our own thing. We would so not be here.”

I nodded emphatically, eyes probably too wide.

She continued, “I mean, all self-respecting resorts should offer complimentary nanny services. Any that don’t are just nowhere we’d want to be anyway, you know? It’s just too much chaos any other way.”

Here is where my nodding in agreement began to lose its….emphatic-ness.

She spent the next several minutes telling me about this resort in Jamaica her whole crew (which included a husband and 3 boys, ages 3, 6, and 11 if I recall correctly on the ages) attended on a tri-yearly basis that offered a complimentary vacation nanny service to all guests. Not even a plain-vanilla vacation nanny service. A complimentary one. I was incredulous. 

And actually, in hindsight, I was incredulous because I am so damn picky about even a babysitter. But man, a vacation nanny? Someone please extinguish the hot, hot flames incited by my burning worry now.

I mean, for me anyway, the thought of having a nanny who has no connection with our little family whatsoever outside of the fact that we just happen to be guests at the same hotel where the former happens to work just doesn’t seem right to me. Furthermore, I worry not that either I am missing some immense luxury that only a lucky few are privy to or that I am far too much of a worrywart when it comes to what people watch my kids. Yes, even for five minutes. I mean, a nanny is assigned to the Bee. She becomes a charge. And this is a nanny who is not picked by me personally, thus I imagine will not be the kind of nanny prone to flying in, post-selection, ala Mary Poppins, to sweep my child off (within distance of my own sight) to engage in song and games. I just can’t handle that idea.

Pool-book lady expressed no sense of such concern. She had disdain for me and my plebian views about childcare. After all, what’s a family vacation if you have to be with your kids all the time? I am not being facetious either. That is really the mindset I was struggling with for a while.

I wonder sometimes if people with multiple children—nay, boy children—of a certain age might be more inclined to participate. This Bee is our first and only at the present moment and I’ve noticed that moms of multiple children, especially boychildren, are often admirably casual about their child-rearing philosophies. They are caring, loving, and attentive, but they have a much less strained and white-knuckled approach than I seem to. They sit back, watch, and smile a lot. Oh, the envy as I toddle behind the Bee’s every step.

Anyway…

The vacation nanny user told me the name of the resort they went to in Jamaica and I forgot it until we got back. After a short bit of research, I found it—bingo! It’s called the Franklyn D. Resort and it’s won tons of awards and receives super-rave reviews from travelers worldwide. Even on TripAdvisor, a site that is notorious for scathing reviews.

So, I hungrily just read like all content on their website and what it says about their services and I am strangely compelled. Here. You read it for yourself and tell me what you think of their concept of the “three-in-one vacation [where] you’ll get an intimate Jamaican escape for you and your spouse, a lively adventure for your children, and a chance to experience the best family holiday ever.” Make sure you click on the tab, which is unmistakably entitled, “Your Vacation Nanny” off the top of their home page too.

Due to good website copy that seems to understand the exact words that appeal to vacation-and-private-time-starved parents, I am thinking this might not be as bad as I thought.

Is this the kind of vacation you might consider for your family? One that was marketed mostly based on its availability of a vacation nanny? Have you ever had a vacation nanny? What were your experiences? 

Ridiculously Long Review of Newport Beachside Resort in Miami, Florida

This is not just a review of Newport Beachside, it is also a full travel guide meant for those staying several days. This is a super-long post. I am just warning you. But with a week’s worth of insights, it’s hard to leave things out, especially if you’re a wordy-turdy like I am. I wish I had access to some of the information I’ve included here before we went as we would have been better prepared, so I’ve done my good deed of the day here for you if you’re considering going.

Another warning…This is kind of a cheat-post. You see, my husband and I were the only ones who went on this trip. We needed one week to ourselves (which we haven’t had since Bee was born 2.5 years ago) and we booked what seemed warm, sunny, and affordable. I never planned on including a review of Newport Beachside on this blog but after our first day there, it became clear that the place was a kids’ paradise and thereby begged inclusion here. Following my realization about how great this place is for kids, I kept my eyes open and my ears tuned in when I spoke to different parents about their stay.

View from our 6th-floor room one early morning

My overall impression is that kids and their parents were pleased as punch with the place (many had been coming for years on end) but childless couples there looked a little less than thrilled. We were kind of in the same boat as the childless from time to time but we still enjoyed ourselves. Frankly, I feel like if we were somewhere without kids around the guilt of being away for an entire week would crush us. We are family people with kids though, so we were able to strike up friendships and conversations and parents and found that they were all having a lovely go of it. Really, all of them.

So with that said, this might not be the most ideal place for people looking for a romantic getaway in the Miami, Florida area. There are hundreds of other hotels that are far more adult-oriented and less kid-friendly. However, for those of you with kids, this place is really ideal. As bad as we needed that vacation alone, when we were there, all we could think about was the Bee and what a great time she would be having. Needless to say, we are booking far in advance to go there next year with her. If we need a vacation by ourselves, however, that probably won’t be where we go.

Where to begin?

The Overall Vibe of Newport Beachside Resort

I’ll preface this by saying that we will indeed be going back to Newport Beachside—certainly not for a romantic vacation by ourselves, but definitely because Bee would be thrilled to death by the place. And because we’re happy when she’s happy.

The overall vibe at Newport Beachside Resort is a family-friendly, kid-oriented one. While the hotel makes every effort to look upscale with its opulent lobby, complete with singing tropical birds enshrined in gilded cages, it can’t deny its true identity. It is a family hotel that caters to people with kids. Period. It succeeds remarkably well in this capacity and should change its marketing approach to acknowledge this. Right now, Newport Beachside is selling itself as luxury for adults when in fact, it’s a kid haven.

Two shots of the bright, sunny lobby at Newport Beachside

For one thing, it’s an older hotel for the Sunny Isles area of Miami and as such, much of the sense of luxury, upon closer inspection, gives way to a sense of being worn and war-weary after thousands of kids coming in and out throughout the day of any season. Things look nice and luxurious at first but before long, you begin to see many cracks in the veneer of elegance. That is not a problem at all if you’re there with your kids at all. It’s kind of charming, actually. We didn’t mind it necessarily, but if we were there hoping for a high-end romantic retreat we would have been sorely disappointed. It is comfortable, roomy, and close to a gorgeous beach but it lacks nearly all the trappings of high-class luxury resorts, which is not a view in line with their website’s assertions through visuals and descriptions that it’s super-fancy. But meh. We don’t care. Some people might.

With a husband in academia, we are forever cursed to have vacations that coincide with Spring Break for colleges nationwide. While there were plenty of Spring breakers patrolling the halls for fresh meat while we were there, many of them stayed at our hotel only to sleep and instead hightailed it to nearby South Beach for most of their time. I think they picked up on the fact that Newport Beachside was “kiddy” and “family-oriented” in no time and took corrective action. If you decide to go there during Spring Break, be forewarned, it’s a little louder than usual and it changes the vibe a little, but there are still a ton of kids around.

Before I begin too, if this is somewhere you’re interested in going, I booked this two months in advance of our trip using Priceline.com. We did the airfare and hotel package thingie (out of Port Columbus in Columbus, Ohio to Miami International Airport) and it was supercheap. I think it ended up being $480 per person with airfare and 6 days. I checked other sites like expedia.com and Travelocity.com and they ended up being way more expensive. I also looked ahead for next year and Priceline still has the best deal by far for Newport Beachside Resort. They must have some kind of special agreement or something. Just something to keep in mind.

Okay… Ready?

The Beach, Pool, and Playground

The beach was crowded when we were there. Like really crowded. It made finding a place in the sun without worrying about someone inadvertently kicking sand on you walking by a little difficult. The only way to escape the crowds on the somewhat small beach is to either rent one of the cabanas for $20 per day (which is great to stay out of the too-blistering sun for pasty Midwesterners like us in March) or do without one of their nice recliners and sit on a towel on the surrounding beaches. One of the days we were there was blistering hot on our poor midwinter cave-person Midwest skin and the cabana was the best $20 we spent. For families, these can be a wonderful place for tots to come back and nap with you if you’re outside all day as there are soft blue cushions on cabana recliners.

The view from our cabana on one of the nice-weather days in the early morning

Proud mama of this postcard picture I took of the cabana huts against the morning light

There are two pools at Newport Beachside, a kiddie one that is quite shallow and separated by reasonable distance from the “big kid pool” and both are quite a decent size. There are chairs and recliners surrounding the pool and this seemed to be the area where all the parents hung out. Kids, especially during their winter break, are so excited to be swimming that nothing stops them, even rain or 62-degree temperatures. The pool is always open. There are no lifeguards, but parents sit around and kind of seem to a community watch of the pool area.

Crappy view (sorry) of the adult-sized pool--Pool bar/restaurant in back hut.

The ocean was not ripe for swimming some days, which caused some overcrowding of the pool. Part of the reason for this (while we were there, at least) was that there were dangerous marine life flags out because high winds brought a large collection of deflated, purple Portugese man of war jellyfish onto the beach, which brings me to an important side point:

Tell your kids these are not balloons on the beach. If they touch one and it’s still got its juices flowing your vacation is totally over.

Image Credit CriticalMiami

They were everywhere, dotting the entire shoreline for a couple of days and are the source of endless fascination for kids large and small. And to my husband, who could not help poking one with a stick and going “ewww!”

If your kids are into marine life, walk with them over the pier to the right of the hotel and look out for some of the pelicans that hang out there and dive into the shallow water in (often unsuccessful) bids for seafood. 

We watched him dive for food like 15 times and he never got a fish. Poor bastard.

The playground on the beach at Newport beachside Resort is simply amazing. It’s a giant, relatively age-neutral play area that is cordoned off and in the soft sand so falls and bumps are minimized. It’s a great hangout for kids and parents. There were only a few times I looked down from our porch above or from the beach and found it empty. The entire time we were in Miami, I never saw such a playground on a beach and decided that this fact alone sets Newport Beachside apart from the crowd on the family-friendly level.

Activities for Kids at Newport Beachside Resort

One of the best things about Newport Beachside Resort for families with kids of all ages is that they have an activities organizer. We nicknamed him Ned Flanders for reasons you'll appreciate it you ever meet him but hey, if we all had to choose someone to lead activities for kids while we’re on vacation, would Ned be at the top of all of our lists?

Ned and his events-organizing posse run poolside games daily, organize beach hunts with the kids with metal detectors, and on rainy days, they take over in the crowded lobby and get the kids involved with board games and other activities. I really cannot say enough great things about this aspect of Newport Beachside. I say many relieved parents milling about, unsure of what to even do with themselves, as it rained outside and the once pissy kids got over their denial of pool time with some wholesome kids activities and events.

I talked to a few parents one rainy afternoon at the indoor bar area where several were self-consciously sipping cocktails in proximity of their children, who were being vastly entertained by Flanders and gang. They said that they have been coming for several years on end and this was one of the reasons why. One mother from Wisconsin, with whom I struck up an excellent conversation about literature and being a former English major, said that her boys (in their mid-teens) had more friends from their years coming there than they did at home. They thrived there and came out of their shells. That is great—ideal. And one reason why we are going back with our Bee.

The Rooms and the Hotel in General

If there is any phrase that comes to mind when considering Newport Beachside Resort’s rooms, it’s “wear and tear”… This is a forty-year-old hotel and it’s really showing. There were major renovations going on while we were there and they’re deeply apologetic about them. We had some issues with our original, standard room including a phone that rang endlessly one morning, a television remote that had issues, and most dramatically, a bed that just plain broke when my husband sat on it, causing him to fall backwards and bang his head. They fixed the little things and with the bed issue, moved us to a different, far better room as it became available. We were grateful that they speedy about correcting our problems but we should never have been placed in a room that was in such bad shape to begin with. In our original room, the tub had tons of cracks, the spackling in the bathroom was peeling off, and the fridge didn’t work at all. There were rooms next to ours undergoing (noisy) renovations and we kind of think they placed us in our room accidentally.

If there is something wrong with your room, tell them. We talked to numerous people who encountered general wear and tear issues. The manager (Armando, I think his name was) was great about responding to us. The staff in general was awesome, friendly, and quick to respond.

The décor of the hotel reminds of Miami Vice meets Martha Steward circa 1984. It needs some work. It’s tacky. But again, kids love it. It makes them feel fancy, it’s different than your average Motel 6, and being people like we are, we didn’t care about this issue much. Once we were moved from our original, dilapidated room, we entered the world of 1970s-style mirrored walls around the bed. Kinky.

Ocean View, Pool View, or Standard? Decisions, Decisions…

Depending on how old your children are, you might be much safer, have more peace and quiet, and indulge in far less worry (not to mention save a pretty penny) if you just get a standard room. First of all, the pool view rooms, while affording a pleasant view of the baby and main pool below (as well as the more distant pier and far-off view of the ocean) are loud at night. Swimming time hours are not enforced by martial law there so you can expect there to be kids out in the pool until close to 10:00. Furthermore, the outdoor bar area, which is near the pool, can also get pretty loud at night so from night to night, you might never know how peaceful or obnoxious it’s going to get. Additionally, we talked to a mother of 2 boys who had a first-floor pool room with a door that opened to the pool and she worried that her youngest would wake up without them and venture quietly out. I guess he does that kind of thing, poor lady. Anyway, if you have a young one and that might be a concern, make sure you don’t get a room with a pool door like that.

The ocean view rooms are quite a bit more expensive but are worth it, view-wise as they look out on the beach below, the playground, and the open sky in front of you. This would be a great room for parents with children old enough to regulate themselves to some degree. For instance, you can hang out on your small, somewhat cramped patio chair and watch them below you playing in the sand or playground. Our room was ocean view and we were in Room 604, which was directly above the playground on the sixth floor. I figured that even from there, if we saw a child of ours (a future, older one) doing something turdy, we were still in perfect shouting distance and it would send a real message coming from on high. It should also mention, that these rooms (at least ours) had a fold-down bed, a kitchen, a spa tub (which kids love) and two televisions—one on the parent’s side and then a sliding screen, and the kids’ on the other.

Taken from inside large sliding glass door in our oceanview room (604)

Dreary afternoon, but this is looking to the left off of our patio

The standard rooms at Newport Beachside Resort are standard, as I’ve said before. Very. And if they’re anything like our original standard room, they are substandard. If you’re polite and have a very reasonable cause to request a new room, they will probably send someone to fix the problem asap or discuss a move with you. That was our experience as well as the experience of another couple from West Virginia we talked with who had a toilet, television, and sink that didn’t work. Eee!

Feeding Your Young at Newport Beachside Resort

Of course, the food prices at Newport Beachside Resort are something to be desired, but you do have options.

In the morning, there is a very expensive buffet-style breakfast in the Oceanview Café in the hotel but if your young are super-hungry it might be worth it. For a cheaper option, if you walk out the front door of the hotel and go to the right there is an Einstein Bagel and a CVS where you can stock up on cheap(er) coffee and little treats. We found that the buffet was too filling first thing in the morning so we went to Einstein’s most mornings and filled up on coffee, sitting outside to watch the morning traffic filter by, honking constantly, on Collins Avenue.

For lunch and dinner, there are a few more options. First of all, at lunchtime, the waitresses from the poolside bar makes the rounds on the beach with a menu full of expectedly overpriced (although not too drastically) fried fare. There is usually a chicken basket for around $7.00 that works great for kids and other adult food. I had the blackened mahi mahi with fries on the beach and have never been happier. It was ( think) around $12.

The restaurant in the hotel, Kitchen 305, has swanky décor and food prices to match. Was not thrilled with their food for the prices. It was kind of bland, quite honestly, but at night they host events that make high drink prices well worth it. Lots of fun for when the kids go to bed if you want to sneak down sans spouse for a few moments.

Remember that the tip is included on all of your bills. Always. It is 19% but we noticed after very little time that if you tip on top of that, they get to you much quicker and show more personal attention. I do not agree with that system, but it’s just how things were. Some people I talked to were angry that they didn’t see the tip had been added and were already generously tipping on top of that. They felt a little cheated and angry. These were the same people who expressed frustration at the $10 per day “resort fee” that lands on your bill when you check out.

At the pier next door is the Pelican restaurant, which is a bit pricey for kids but they’ll like sitting on the pier in close pelican range. The pier itself was closed for pedestrians while we were there for some reason, but kids might enjoy just being a part of it from the open-air tables. There is a raw bar at the Pelican restaurant but one lady we talked to spent 2 days of her vacation in bed sick immediately after the clams. She wasn’t too happy.

We had a rainy day and wanted to get out of the hotel so we braved the weather and hightailed it over Mexico Bravo, which was an excellent restaurant with prices comparable to the hotel but with far better food and way-big portions. There were several families there eating when we were and it was excellent. They had to put a big note on the bottom of our check saying that tip was not included. Guess they get a lot of people coming from Newport Beachside thinking everyone’s trying to nickel and dime them.

On another crappy-weather evening we went to the Emerald Coast Buffet. It was $20 per person and while the food was good, it was not great. It’s not a place for kids, really since it’s so pricey and furthermore, most of the food is not kid-friendly. A lot of sushi and odd seafood and only one rice dish that would be palatable to your picky tot. Lots of dessert selections, but that’s beside the point. In the same shopping area by Newport Beachside where you’ll find Emerald Coast Buffet and Mexico Bravo is also a Subway and Papa Johns. I definitely recommend ordering Papa Johns for pizza delivery. We ordered pizza one day from the hotel bar for $16 for a large and it had cardboard crust and fake cheese. Kids don’t always care about bad pizza as long as they’re eating pizza (Chucky Cheese, anyone?) but parents might not be thrilled.

Concluding Opinions about Newport Beachside Resort

• Very family-friendly and kid-oriented. They should really market themselves as this instead of a high-end luxury resort.
• Lots of families we talked to were “repeat” vacationers there and had becoming for years with their children.
• Undergoing renovations. Thank God. Because the rooms are not up to par all the time.
• Nice, open lobby with birds, small shops, and tables for indoor activities.
• Wonderful events organizing staff with movie nights for kids, board game nights, etc.
• Expensive food but plenty in easy walking distance for a break from hotel fare.
• Playground on the beach and nice, safe pools with plenty of comfortable seating for parents.
• Not really an ideal spot for a romantic getaway. Between the renovations and the children, it gets loud. Again, far more of a family vacation spot.

Also, if the shuttle ever launches again, you can watch it from the beach at Newport Beachside. The launchpad is like 200 miles away but since the shuttle goes over the ocean, you can see it. Here is a picture of the UFO looking comtrail cloud it left behind during the March launch. Very cool.

Jet fuel. Snazzy.

If you have any specific questions about our stay, please contact me directly or leave a comment below. I have more information about ways to avoid high cab fares if you want to know. This is just way too long of a post to include everything...

Signing off now with a pic of me in Margarita-land poolside before we left. Viva Newport Beachside, let's get our kids together next March, no?

Finally, a shout out to Rhonda at the Poolside Bar for knock-me-on-my-ass drinks.

Care and Feeding of Your Lapchild

Perhaps it was because I was giddy after a short break in Miami with my husband (sans our Bee) or maybe it was all the margaritas I drank in ridiculously swift succession while we were still on the ground, but when the flight attendant reviewed the pre-flight instructions and referred to people with a “lapchild” I completely lost it. 

I laughed until tequila-scented tears rolled out of my eyes. To the point that even later in the flight the attendant bearing alcoholic drinks pretended not to see me.

Lapchild. Like all one word.

And it’s even more hilarious when you have a flight attendant who is clearly from the American South because not only does “lapchild” come out all in one word, it’s like lapchial. This only added to my mirth.

I could not resist the urge to present my vision of my daughter as a lapchild, sitting quietly and obediently on my lap, silently, calmly preparing for air travel. I will just remember to never, ever let her see this blog when she’s at that phase of adolescent development known by most modern clinicians as the “Bratz Doll Phase of Human Development.”

If you haven’t flown for a while, the lapchild seems to be a relatively new introduction to stewardess lingo. To the airline industry, a lapchild is a child that is too small to have his or her own seat and that would travel better if held by the parent. Most airlines keep the cutoff age at around two before a child has to have an individual seat and I’ve decided that it is probably best to accept their recommendation.

In naming a new species of human, the ubiquitous lapchial, the airline industry and passengers alike benefit. These are experts of the air and they’ve seen it all. They know, for instance, that if you try to hold a two year old down on your own for more than 20 minutes, there are going to be struggles, problems, and the kind of screaming you used to look down on people for doing in the middle of Target before you have kids but now that you do have your own kids, you’ve totally fallen prey to at least once and no longer judge.

I am all about thrifty travel, but there is no way on earth I would ever try to claim a lapchild where no lapchild existed. Besides, many airlines do request that you bring along a copy of a birth certificate for children, which means that if they really wanted to, they could easily “card” your kid and confirm or deny true lapchild status. If you fudged age a little with the optimistic notion that your kid would sit and be fine, you might get stuck paying for that extra ticket anyway or worse, dealing with your decision by holding your squirmy poser lapchild for hours on end with no respite.

If you have a true lapchild, an infant who cannot even sit up, the lapchild concept is incredibly generous of the airlines. They are treating you and your infant as one person and allowing you to be close for feedings, cuddling, and if you hope hard enough and wish on your lucky stars, some sleep. If you even have the slightest shadow of doubt that your child is a bit too old to sit and be docile on your lap, don’t even think about it. For your own sake.

There is far more on the subject of traveling on airplanes with kids, but I couldn’t resist sharing this tidbit. What are your experiences with traveling with a lapchial?

Why You Should Set Aside a Family Travel Budget. Yes, Even Now.

Note: The pictured family is so not my family. Not the one I was in before and certainly not the one I’m head-mother of now. Unlike us, however, they do look like people who do things like sit down and have family budget night, which brings me to my point in a multimedia-driven kind of way, which I hear is appealing to readers. Besides, if that was my daughter, I’d smack her into next week for wearing that saucy shirt and posing like a Bratz doll for what is clearly meant to be a wholesome family vacation shot.

In these tough economic times (I am so sick of hearing that phrase, but man, it’s the only one that seems to do since economic meltdown just sounds so….apocalyptic) it’s hard to think about setting aside money for anything. With children, there are even more reasons to cling, white-knuckled, to every penny you make because who knows what might happen? College costs could continue to soar, leaving your little genius prone to predatory student lending (there’s a can of worms you don’t even want me opening) or some godforsaken event could change the course of your life (your husband takes up golf or you get mauled at a Toys R Us Christmas melee), thus causing you undue personal economic woe. The fact is, we never know what the hell is going to happen next, so many of us, even if we were so not like this pre-child, tend to over-plan, over-worry, and over-budget for things that even the most meticulous, well-meaning budgeting can’t get you through.

Now, I’m not exactly Miss Responsibility when it comes to money all the time, so far be it from you to take any household budgeting-type advice from me. However, my advice has far less to do with budgets and spreadsheets than it does with life…more specifically, enjoying life. The same rhetoric that comes into play when we talk about planning for unforeseen future events applies, perhaps even more so, to planning travel into the family budget….But why?

Because things can happen that can bring your life to a screeching halt.

Of course, you knew that. But it is at times like those, no matter what sort of circumstances produced the screeching and the halting, that looking back and seeing a solid base of quality family time spent away from home, away from the norm, is the most meaningful. It is what matters. Travel is what makes it matter.

Travel takes us outside of ourselves, outside of the bubble of our homes, cars, jobs, pets, grocery and to-do lists. It makes us realize how small and relatively unimportant these day-to-day things are in the grand scheme of things, but not in that same depressing, awed way you feel when you look at all the stars and realize you’re nothing but a blip on the screen, a grain of sand on endless miles of beach, a flea on the ass of some unfathomable giant. Okay….that kind of talk, even if to prove a counter-point does start working on me pretty fast….Sigh.

So what I meant, in all of my ramblings, is that there is no greater way to create meaning than through shared, family experiences that cannot occur every day or even ever again. It takes distance from the daily trivialities to zero in on that sense of family and hell, for that matter, universal unity. It is a priceless action that all of us should let ourselves afford. And I repeat, we should let ourselves afford it.

In the economy and our daily lives, we are nickled and dimed to death. If you live near the portal to Hoth like we do, heating bills add to your worry. In short, we are, many of us, left feeling like there’s nothing left for personal enjoyment. But there is! There really is!  Can you exchange cable television for one year for a week-long family getaway in some far-off location? I’ll let you go ahead and keep your internet in this deal, but if you got rid of cable for just one year, that would leave you with $600. If you got rid of your morning latte every morning to boot, add another couple hundred dollars to that figure. If you can make do with even less, you’ll get so much more. Keep trimmin’ baby!

So, if you’re more organized and wifely than I am, which you probably are, look at your household budget. Can you trim if it’s for a good cause? What stays and what goes?

Short Stay, No Pool? Behold the AquaDoodle

Chances are, if you have a young one and you’re traveling via planes, trains, and automobiles, you already have a trusty list of items to bring along that aren’t going to create a war zone, can be easily picked up in a few moments, and of course, can provide a blessed hour of peace (or at least a few minutes, depending on how old your young ones are) while you enjoy the scenery. This list of travel toys is very likely not going to include things like finger paints, markers, or Legos, and if it does, shame on you.

When I was growing up in the 80s, my parents generally included on this trusted list of vehicular travel toys the MagnaDoodle, the Etch-a-Sketch, and if we happened to stop by a Cracker Barrel (which you can’t help but at least pass by like 40 of them on any trek through the Midwest) one of those little magnet-based plexiglass numbers where you can put hair on some goofy-looking character (ah, thank you, internet, that would be Wooly Willy). Once my sisters and I exhausted all of those possibilities, we were forced to read (even though we all get headaches doing so when in transport) or, gasp!, converse with our parents.

Unless you have packed a bunch of toys in your suitcases or carry-on luggage that you’re willing to haul out for a short stay, chances are, when you get to the hotel, your children are going to be so tired of all magnetized diversions that they won’t want to look at them ever again. And if you’re not staying somewhere with a pool and don’t feel like plopping them in front of the television, you have a sizable problem on your hands--especially since your nugget(s) have been sitting in a plane, train, or automobile all days stockpiling restless energy.

Well, never fear, a great option for new travel toys is here. And no, there are no magnets in powdered, slivered, or chunked form here either, so rest easy. And did I mention the word “doodle” is actually name? Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to the AquaDoodle… The best thing to happen to parents of art-loving tots and the tots themselves since, well, probably the Magna Doodle.

For your information, I spent way too long writing “Behold, the AquaDoodle” and then redrawing it because the water started to dry, thus making it hard for you to see my lovely art. Meh.

Anyway, the AquaDoodle is a somewhat large, easy-to-fold lightweight mat upon which kids can draw to their heart’s delight using the two pens that come with it (a regular one and a wide one) that are filled with water. When the water seeps into the pen, kids can draw mess-free on the mat, which seems to dry really quickly. I have never had to worry about it getting mildewy or anything sitting in my bag, which leads me to believe that it actually be a magic mat as is suggested. 

According to the website where it talks about how big an Aquadoodle is, it’s 32 x 32 inches, but for some reason, Bee’s seems smaller than that. I am not about to go measuring it. It’s enough that my adult was sitting here drawing on it and then taking pictures so you’ll just have to take their word for it. It’s big enough for her to sit on while she draws but small enough that it fits very easily into the netted pouch of my carry-on bag.

These puppies are made for short, one-night hotel stays, can be packed easily, are mess-free for art time, and are just all around good things to have. They are not really cheap for what they are and for some stupid reason, I can’t find the simplified version we have anywhere online right now. The ones I am finding now are all fancy with Dora and crap and one I see now is called the SpinMaster Aquadoodle (which no thank you when it comes to reeling after carsickness—even if doesn’t spin) but for your travel toy lists, a simple one will do nicely.

I know you all have travel toy secrets, so ‘fess up….what are some of your favorite crayon-less and mess-less hotel stay toys?

Greetings from First-Post-Ever Land

Note to readers--we travel as much as we can when time and funds allow but until our Bee is a bit older, you can pretty much expect us to stay in the confines of the U.S.. When we are not on the road, expect posts about travel-related issues on things I think about when I'm worrying about, planning for, or creating our next venture.

Now, on to what was originally written for the post since I added the above bit in later.

I know it’s incredibly cliché to ramble on about how much having a child changes everything in life, but I can’t help myself here. I have to tell you that every single thing I used to think—whether it was about the largest things in life such as “meaning” and “purpose” or the small things, such as how I feel in public restrooms, for instance—has been altered post-baby. Dramatically.

At some point after our daughter, Bee, was born in November of 2006 some weird, unsettling shift took place in my personality, my outlook, my understanding of the world. Once my husband of 6 years and I got enough sleep at night to realize what was happening, we found we’d almost spontaneously transformed into different people—all in the short space of a few months. There would be no going back to those glorious hedonistic days of self-absorption. Meh.

So yes, we realize now that those days really weren’t as glorious as we might like to think when we’re mired our hindsight and memories. At least in comparison. Even though we um…weren’t expecting to be graced with the Bee so soon in our lives, we seized the opportunity for a challenge and began the journey that has been the most meaningful, the most fun, and the most exhausting of any we had ever been on before. Travel, which was something my husband and I have always loved, became entirely different as we considered what she might like rather than what we were into—or for that matter, comfortable with (indoor water slides anyone?)

Now, we look back on the ways we used to spend our time with a sense of amused boredom. We will never be able to back to those days and frankly, 99% of the time, we’re quite glad. Being a glass-half-empty sort is a drag. And something that people with kids don’t have the luxury of being like. So I don’t miss my life pre-Bee one bit. I’m digging this chance to hang out with my little mini-me and experience life through her wide eyes.

Clearly, I have a penchant for the ramble, no? It seems I totally forgot that this was a simple request for something “About” this blog—about our little family and our travels. And here I’m all telling you my life story. Let me give you the condensed “About” version then, since I wasted so much of your time with random thoughts on life…

The “About Us” Cheat Sheet

• My husband and I met because we were next door neighbors at one of the shittiest housing complexes within 10 square miles of Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio and, if nothing else at the time, had that much in common.

• We actually found we had a lot in common. Especially music and books. And other things that I will not be discussing here. Ah. Young love.

• When we met, I was an English major at OSU with double-minors in Cultural Anthropology and Comparative Literature (see, I even rambled as a student). My husband, being the sexy, wayward sort finally got convinced (by me—I’m a good “convincer”..ahem) to get himself a degree in English, but ended up only minoring. He started working at the Theatre Department, switched his major to theatre, and now is a graduate student at Purdue University in Theatre where he is learning (and teaching) set construction and other stuff that has nothing to do with acting or performance theatre stuff. He is also, if I did not mention this ahead of time, awesome.

• We were married on July 12, 2003 in the town where I grew up but haven’t lived for years (Elida, Ohio). We moved back to Columbus, Ohio where I worked as a writer and editor and he was the perpetual student to top all perpetual students. It was bliss.

• I done got knocked up.

• I kind of went overboard with the cravings and gained a vast amount of weight. It was glorious, even if I will continue paying for it for the next several months.

• Bee was born on November 4, 2006.

• We did not sleep for something like an entire year. Like ever.

• At the time I’m writing this, she’s close to 2 and a half and is a bright, fun, happy child with an amazing vocabulary and a smile that appears and knocks 2 minutes off of my original “time out” time limits I give her everytime. She’s amazing.

So, there you have it. Us in a nutshell. Nothing fancy or exciting, I do apologize for that. If there’s one thing the internet has made me realize, it’s that everyone but us is fancy and/or exciting. Thanks a lot, Facebook.

Eee!

I just stopped writing a moment ago to look at the “about” section on blogs I enjoy reading and noticed that no one else wrote a freaking book for theirs. While I love to blaze new trails, I fear this is a blogging faux pas and will end it here.

Is there some burning question that just cannot wait? Is there some trifle you wish to discuss? Did I bore you and you need now to vent some? Email me, seriously. I love the idea. Leave comments too, if that tickles your fancy.