During a recent trip in Miami, Florida with my husband, I took advantage of a little baby-free time on my own and did a walkabout of the hotel, stopping finally at the pool bar to order something uncharacteristically strong for my drink of choice these days (which is usually orange juice spiked with baby backwash). Afraid to start visibly wobbling after a few sips, I decided to strike up a conversation with a woman at the bar who was reading a book I liked quite a bit. As she ordered her drink, we caught eyes, detected kindred-spirited-ness and began chatting about books, kids, and vacations.
Halfway into the conversation, she clucked her tongue and said that she wished to hell that Newport Beachside had a vacation nanny to take advantage of and that she was just dying without one.
A vacation nanny? Seriously?
So not-in-the-loop me was like, “well, I saw on the hotel information thing that they have a babysitting service but I didn’t see any details about price or qualifications or anything.”
She blinked blankly a few times and just kind of looked at me like I was already starting to waste her time.
“Oh, these days we hardly stay anywhere that does often vacation nanny service. I mean, we’re really only here because the kids love it so much. If I had it my way, John and I would just…you know, ramble around all day and do our own thing. We would so not be here.”
I nodded emphatically, eyes probably too wide.
She continued, “I mean, all self-respecting resorts should offer complimentary nanny services. Any that don’t are just nowhere we’d want to be anyway, you know? It’s just too much chaos any other way.”
Here is where my nodding in agreement began to lose its….emphatic-ness.
She spent the next several minutes telling me about this resort in Jamaica her whole crew (which included a husband and 3 boys, ages 3, 6, and 11 if I recall correctly on the ages) attended on a tri-yearly basis that offered a complimentary vacation nanny service to all guests. Not even a plain-vanilla vacation nanny service. A complimentary one. I was incredulous.
And actually, in hindsight, I was incredulous because I am so damn picky about even a babysitter. But man, a vacation nanny? Someone please extinguish the hot, hot flames incited by my burning worry now.
I mean, for me anyway, the thought of having a nanny who has no connection with our little family whatsoever outside of the fact that we just happen to be guests at the same hotel where the former happens to work just doesn’t seem right to me. Furthermore, I worry not that either I am missing some immense luxury that only a lucky few are privy to or that I am far too much of a worrywart when it comes to what people watch my kids. Yes, even for five minutes. I mean, a nanny is assigned to the Bee. She becomes a charge. And this is a nanny who is not picked by me personally, thus I imagine will not be the kind of nanny prone to flying in, post-selection, ala Mary Poppins, to sweep my child off (within distance of my own sight) to engage in song and games. I just can’t handle that idea.
Pool-book lady expressed no sense of such concern. She had disdain for me and my plebian views about childcare. After all, what’s a family vacation if you have to be with your kids all the time? I am not being facetious either. That is really the mindset I was struggling with for a while.
I wonder sometimes if people with multiple children—nay, boy children—of a certain age might be more inclined to participate. This Bee is our first and only at the present moment and I’ve noticed that moms of multiple children, especially boychildren, are often admirably casual about their child-rearing philosophies. They are caring, loving, and attentive, but they have a much less strained and white-knuckled approach than I seem to. They sit back, watch, and smile a lot. Oh, the envy as I toddle behind the Bee’s every step.
Anyway…
The vacation nanny user told me the name of the resort they went to in Jamaica and I forgot it until we got back. After a short bit of research, I found it—bingo! It’s called the Franklyn D. Resort and it’s won tons of awards and receives super-rave reviews from travelers worldwide. Even on TripAdvisor, a site that is notorious for scathing reviews.
So, I hungrily just read like all content on their website and what it says about their services and I am strangely compelled. Here. You read it for yourself and tell me what you think of their concept of the “three-in-one vacation [where] you’ll get an intimate Jamaican escape for you and your spouse, a lively adventure for your children, and a chance to experience the best family holiday ever.” Make sure you click on the tab, which is unmistakably entitled, “Your Vacation Nanny” off the top of their home page too.
Due to good website copy that seems to understand the exact words that appeal to vacation-and-private-time-starved parents, I am thinking this might not be as bad as I thought.
Is this the kind of vacation you might consider for your family? One that was marketed mostly based on its availability of a vacation nanny? Have you ever had a vacation nanny? What were your experiences?
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8 comments:
I responded to your comment on my website. I have reviews from 2006 and 2007 on TripAdvisor, expedia, and BJs Vacation Club. I am still in contact with both my nannies and they tell me that FDR Pebbles has been renovated! I recommned FDR Pebbles over FDR Resorts because it is newer and I've read so-so reviews of FDR Resorts (it used to be a condo so while the rooms are bigger, they are also dingy). My computer background is the picture I took of the gorgeous ocean and coconut tree off our room's balcony and I will have no hesitation in recommending FDR Pebbles and their nannies and staff to anyone. In fact, if all goes well, I hope to be there this summer again for the third time in four years. I love my nannies, the resort, and Jamaica!
And let me repeat again and again. The nannies are amazing. They will stay by your side with the children and simply be an extra pair of hands. Or they will take the children to the beach, the pool, the kid center, the playground, lunch, a specific activity, anywhere the kids want to go but you do not want to join them.
My husband and I got to play with the kids when we wanted but also got to do grown-up activities without having to tag-team it. If I wanted to snorkel but my husband wanted to read by the pool we could both do it at the same time because the kids were with Ty (our last nanny) making tye-dye t-shirts or sandcastles or whatever.
But the best part was at night. For $4 an hour, we could hire Ty to watch our kids for us. She would feed them dinner, play with them at the kid's center, bath them (when my son was two), and put the to bed for us while my husband and I had 6 date nights in a row. (Obviously we paid her a little more than the $4 an hour and gave her a huge tip at the end of our stay because having that break from the kids was just so cool).
My son who is only just five, still askes to go back to Jamaica even though we haven't been for over a year. Both our children love to talk about their two visits, I still send Christmas cards to our nannies (who still keep in touch with us), and I can not wait to go back. Because let's face it, it isn't a vacation if Mommy still has to be a mommy. At FDR Pebbles, I can be both me, a wife, and a mommy guilt-free.
Kris, I am so glad you shared your personal experiences about your vacation nanny, especially in the second post. It alleviates any fears I might have and actually, the more I read about this, the less I have the howling fantods about the whole idea. I still don't know if I would be able to claim myself as being "guilt-free" but I'll never know until I try.
$4 per hour is a great price, wow! I would probably be like you and over-tip for a good nanny. I am also quite pleased you let me know the nanny's name as. That would be amazing if she's still there when (and if) we make it down there sometime soon. I am hoping that we will be able to hit at least a few all-inclusive resorts in the somewhat near future and you know I'll lay it out the whole experience here.
What great information, thank you so much! And great blog on your end too!
Hello, We stayed at both Pebbles AND FDR while filming for our family travel guide DVD series "Travel With Kids Jamaica." At first, I have to agree with you, we weren't sure about the nanny idea, nor having someone else watch our kids, as we are very very picky at home. However, within minutes we were at ease and the kids (2 boys, 6 and 8) loved the nannies and didnt want them to leave. We "hired" them to stay a few hours later (they are usually done around 4pm).. It was 5 dollars an hour, which makes all the difference to these ladies. They mostly survive on the "after hours" hiring and tips. Alot of the time we were with the kids and the nannies, and we never left the resort. The resorts are a lot of fun and I would highly recommend the experience. . You asked on my blog if parents get a say in the selection, no.. you are assigned a nanny upon arrival. I think repeat customers can request their favorite. We are easy going travelers that prefer to stay in local guest houses over fancy hotels and have been to many places with the kids filming our travel series. FDR and Pebbles are two places we would go back to.
You can find out more about our Travel With Kids DVD guides at travelwithkids.tv
thanks!
I have to say I am more on the white knuckled end of this conversation. I have three children 9,8,5. We have never used a vacation nanny.
I worked with children most of my life as a Montessori director and then when disgusted with management and parents I went into the corporate world.
I think what gets me is that people are so willing to put their childrens lives in someone elses hands. I fully understand the need for time and space away from your children because you need to keep your marriage in good standing. The problem lies in that do you really ever know what a person is capable of? I know not everyone out there has evil thoughts in their minds, but what is the chance ??? A slight possibility? I can't risk it. I have to say I never used daycare, even though I was one of the people in the field. I don't ever intend on sending my kids to "away camp".
They grow so quickly as it is and they really are our responsibility to care for them.
I know you could argue with me till the day is long and it all comes down to personal decisions and personal conscience. I personally can't do it ... I have seen things happen right under my nose and have always been bothered by those things. My kids are my gift from God and it is my job to keep them raise them.
Do you think this struck a nerve with me??? Sorry to be so forward :) But its just another opinion.
Janet
Wow Janet, now I'm completely curious to learn more about your experiences working at a Montessori director and what you've seen! I always wonder about how people who work at daycares consider them for their own children.
My point, when I was expressing fear and concern about vacation nannies, is the same about any nanny (or even babysitter)... If a child is not your own and is not related to you, there is far less caring involved. I am not saying nannies don't care--not at all--but one never knows.
I am torn on this debate, I really am. I hope others with vacation nanny experiences leave their comments so we can have more perspective on the matter.
Umm... Well, for us a family holiday is a "family" holiday. That means us and the kids. No dumping of the kids with other people so that we can escape without them. Otherwise, why not just leave them at home with the grandparents?
I am pleased that those who have used this type of service liked and appreciated it. But its just not for me...
Yvette
For the record, we just booked our third vacation at FDR Pebbles and I am so excited.
I understand that some people have this idea about vacation nannies (I don't trust my kids with anyone) and family vacations (why bring the kids if you're dumping them with a stranger?).
Both are legitimate concerns but remember a family vacation doesn't and shouldn't mean every last second spent together. If it did, then why not stay at home staring at each other.
Different family members want to do different things at different times. FDR Pebbles' Vacation Nannies let us have that flexibility. We can do stuff as a family alone, with the nanny, or separately without tears.
I want to do the free historic tour, my kids want to build sandcastles and my husband wants to read a book. No problem, our vacation nanny frees us to that. My husband and the kids want to tie dye shirts, I want to snorkel. No problem. We all want to go to Luminous Lagoon together. Done. The Vacation Nanny isn't about dumping your kids with a stranger, it is about giving the family (and especially Mom) the flexibility to please the whole family without fights or recriminations.
If I wanted to dump the kids with strangers while on vacation, I'd go to another all-inclusive that has those "children's clubs" which are basically glorified vacation daycare.
With small children, that extra pair of hands the Vacation Nanny provides is a godsend - especially at mealtimes. She becomes a trusted member of the group and my kids still talk about their nannies from Jamaica and we haven't been since our youngest was three.
Kids grow up and are in the care of strangers the second they enter preschool or kindergarten. Who are we kidding? Having a Vacation Nanny giving you breaks when you need it, an extra pair of hands or just a little free time to be a person or a couple instead of always parents is a true blessing. One I am very grateful to receive this summer.
Finally, I will leave you with this thought. My uncle has a home in the Cayman Islands (with swimming pool and across the street from the beach). My dad has a beachhouse on the water at VA Beach. My mother lives on an island in Boston Harbour. My In-Laws live in a seaside village in England and we have friends and family in Great Britain, Ireland, Germany, Australia and Beijing. So I have fantastic free places to stay around the globe, but because of those Vacation Nannies, I choose to pay to stay in Jamaica.
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